Solitude: The cause of focus

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. ~ Mark 1:35

Where is your focus? Has it been on work, school, family? Has it be on God? These are some questions that came to my mind while I was practicing the spiritual discipline of solitude. Mark 1 and other Scripture passages (ex. Matthew 14:13 and Luke 4:42) talk about Jesus going off to a solitary place. So what does it mean to go off to a solitary place? In other words, what is the disciple of solitude? 

Richard Foster writes, “Solitude is more a state of mind and heart than it is a place. There is a solitude of the heart that can be maintained at all times” (96). What Foster is getting at is that the discipline of solitude is more about the attitude of the heart and mind rather than the physical place. You can still be in solitude even if you are among a crowd of people. “Inward solitude has outward manifestations. There is the freedom to be alone, not in order to be away from people but in order to hear the divine Whisper better” (Foster, 97). The disciple of solitude allows God to speak not because he never speaks but because we are now listening and focused on him. The discipline of solitude goes well with the other spiritual disciplines such as prayer, mediation, and fasting. These disciples give freedom to hear and experience the presence of God. 

So my plan for practicing the disciple of solitude this week was to take couple of hours of one day to be by myself. I chose to do this because I am always around people. I am a people person. I get energy from being around people and often do not take the time to be by myself. The ironic thing is that this past weekend was the annual retreat for the youth group I volunteer for and the theme was unplugged. We unplugged from the daily distractions such as Facebook, cell phones, computers. This was a time to listen to God. The place the retreat was held at was Waltman Lake. A camp that is surround by forest, a lake in the center, and a half a mile from the nearest main road. It was a solitary place. A great place to practice the spiritual discipline of solitude. This is where I practice the disciple of solitude.

So on Saturday afternoon, everyone was given a couple of hours of free time. Each person including leaders were given a packet and encouraged to find a quite spot and work through the packet. So after hanging out with my small group for an hour or so, I felt God telling me to get onto the paddle boat and go into the middle of the lake. I thought,"Okay God," and I went into the middle of the Lake, there was no wind, no clouds, and it was sunny. The first thing the packet had me do was ask God to lead me to a spot so I could listen to him. 

God direct me towards a small cove. On the shore of the cove where these barren trees and in the center stood one evergreen taller than the rest of these trees. As I looked around, I notice all around the lake a similar set up, barren trees and one or two evergreens all along the shore. I was drawn back to staff training at Grace Adventures when we talked about leadership and what it was and looked like and the metaphor for a leader was a tree. I again looked back at the evergreen and thought about the youth leaders who have played a significant role in my life. Who have influenced and encourage me to explore a life in full time ministry. Then I thought about my leadership and reflected on was I leading to be the center and get all the praise or to set an example of Godly leadership. 

As I was making way through the packet, I came to a section where I had to write a letter to myself from God. Through that time of writing God challenged me to reflect where my focus was and had been. I realized that it had been on school and myself. I was neglecting my relationships with my family, friends, and even my students. But more important was that my relationship with God had taken the back seat. I didn’t have time put into that relationship because it would require work. 

Well, the next thing I know is God asked to keep the Cross, which was on the opposite shore of the lake, in the center of my field of vision. My first thought was this was going to be easy. There was no wind, I could just sit and continue to go through the packet. Well, God had some humor with me, just when I got the cross in focus and began to continue working on the packet, the wind picked up and I would drift off towards the shore, left of the cross. So I had to stop and paddle the boat back into place. Then the same thing happened all over again. 

Each time it got harder and harder to put the cross in focus. The wind kept blowing and the paddle boat kept drifting. I finally gave up and thought, “God what is the point, I am never going to keep the cross in focus. I give up!” In the silence of that moment, God whispered, “Did you really think that keeping cross centered was going to be easy. Did you think it was going to require no work or effort? You are so very busy that you allow your business to blow you around. You allow your focus to drift from one thing to another and yet I call you to keep focused on me. It is gong to take effort and I already know that you will not get right all the time but by my strength and not your own, you can focus on the cross even when life blows you around.”

Of all the lessons that were taught, that was the single and most important one. I know that if I hadn’t take that time to be by myself, to slow down, to unplug, I would have missed that lesson. The disciple of solitude doesn’t require you to be by yourself but it does require a heart and mind ready to listen even among a crowd. But sometimes, it takes the quite place for the heart and mind to listen to the one that created it. So where is your focus?